the person/ artist/ song who can convert me to dumbstep....... i'll give a cash reward of $10,000. no lie. This is impossible.... so im putting it out there.

Hippies

So i just had a bunch of hippies staying with me..... well 2. They're my roommates friends, and they were bunking with us past 2 days.


When I say hippy- i mean 'hippy' in the truest sense of the word. They lead an amazing life- hopping freight trains to and from (east/ west coast)- in order to travel. Whenever they wanna go somewhere- they just hop a freight train...... I find that to be awesome and a life I would (one day)- like to lead. My grandfather did that too back when he was a kid... when he was 14 to be exact, back in the 20s. I admire that- and want that life one day..... total vagabond nomad. I dig it- and i admire ppl especially nowadays.... who lead that lifestyle. Freedom. Total trust and faith.... just winging it. That takes guts and courage. They both have no jobs- these hippies by the way- just riding on through life.... couch surfing..... i'm sure some ocean surfing too...... just surfin through, taking each day as it comes completely unpredictable. Scary but awesome.

Anyhowwwwww...... back to 2013, reality........ So, as of idk....... i guess about 2008/ 09 or so..... it came to my attention....... I am a germophobe. And not in the 'wash your hands before you eat way' ....... but more like...... bleach your keys/ keychain/ all door handles/ knobs once- a - week- way........... The hippies have just left and with them...... well, I just wish their germ traveled with them. Idk how it started but I remember being little- like when i was a young teenager- and nothing gratified me more- than getting out of the showers- in to my clean just washed pajamas..... n then in to my clean, just washed sheets/ comforter.... bed. I was elated- and felt pure bliss in those moments of 'cleanliness'- pure cleanliness. I got off on it almost lol......... no but i just remember it a fond memory.... like it really sticks out...... so i guess it sort of started there too. Anyhow- so i wish...... this all got me thinking about fumigation and stink bombs and stuff....... and how i wish there was a 'bleach bomb' a bomb whereby, you'd throw it- and every surface every- everything in your house........ got sanitized. B/c now the only way is me....... which i've been doing all day..... is going around with the bleach/ lysol wipes- and bleaching pretty much...... everything. Doorknobs, cabinet handles...... everything- and i know that isnt everything b/c then there are the floors.

These hippies hadnt showered in idk how long........ and they looked as though they could make moonshine...... maybe even had it with them. Anyhow- while i admire the lifestyle.... I cant live 'dirty'. I just cant. Theres a hippy in me but then theres the clean freak.......... And so i'm just trying to clean up after these guys- and its near impossible b/c surely theres something i missed/ am going to miss......... and that stays on my mind- and i know i have a problem/ and probably need help. Regardless- i wish for a 'Clorox bleach bomb' / fumigation system that fumigates/ bleaches/ sanitizes the whole house so u dont have to go around one by one...... cleaning everything........ i think this sounds pretty logical though dont you! ........ Where is this system i cant find it...... !?!!? !!!!!!!! #CloroxmyLife....... eeeeeeeee Owwwwwwwwww.

Nathan has Heart.

I think what i love most about my new favorite show........ 'Nathan For You'.......... is the heart behind it. No show is too mean or too cruel/ or insulting........ at the backbone of it- is real heart. The 'awwwwwW' factor- and i love that.

Like last week's episode where he befriends those hikers who wanted a deal..... but in the end..... much more was at stake- a bond was discovered and formed amongst all. This is where I love humor the most....... the tying 'bond' factor..... I think humor- at its best....... does this, and should be the goal- the empathy factor.


I appreciate the show for so many other reasons..... but among them.... (that). I really love it- I love Nathan Fielder as a comedian- he is dead (pan)- on...... Just so perfectly stoic. I think dead pan is the better way to describe him though. He is truly a gem in the world of comedy- and I cant believe only now...... is he getting any notoriety. I see big things for him- and I hope this leads to so many other avenues. Thanks Nathan, I'm truly obsessed with your show- it's the highlight of my week..... (for reaaaaaal), ;) ! Xo, Tara

When is it OK to be offended?

I think armor is necessary....... 2 and 3 layers of skin etc........ but................................ at what point- is it ok, to be offended? At what point are you just not human, (for not being offended).


I believe in persevering and carrying on....... but there is a fine line as well. I think its (not ok)- to not be offended some times..... and stiff upper lip just doesnt always work some times. Just observing this 'fine line' today....... thats all. Its pouring down snow where i'm from! (VA)... too funny.... Spring has come...... and so has the snow.

There's a lot of Hostility in NY.

...... Unlike i've seen anywhere else. There's this sense of 'self- defensiveness' .... that i havent seen anywhere. This hip hop bravado attitude- that is especially unique to NY. (the city). I was riding the subway today- the 4 train to be exact, and on it- a man was rapping 'spoken word' poem what have you...... of really crass cruel- hate talk. He was throwing around the word 'faggot' like it was no one's business...... right in front of a clearly, gay man. It was really sad and disheartening- and part of me wanted to cry..... plus there were kids and babies right there- in ear shot.

It's just an attitude and hostility towards life ive never really witnessed before. Slowly but surely i am seeing the 'hard knocks life' / underbelly side of nyc. Its taken a while actually... Ive met so many nice lovely ppl.... but there is that. And i almost forget sometimes where i am, til i am rudely awakened/ shocked by it. By these other ppl who are just as representative of the region. Anyhow- i forget sometimes..... n then i am reminded so brutally reminded. Not gently shaken but like...... punched in the face reminded- you aint in Kansas anymore..... and its very apparent- more times than others. But not a lot (thankfully). Just a mere observation....... I see why and how hip hop came out of here. It's still a live and well, that whole attitude and everything- its interesting living in a region with such strong musical roots- and seeing that firsthand alive and well. The hip hop mentality is still very much ablaze. I also have a new appreciation for hip hop like i didnt before. It's a long story, but i just do, I also was listening to old Kanye shortly before i moved to nyc.

Single: a Notion to be noted..... n celebrated.

I'll try not to go on too long here but......... I think it has become a subconscious mission of mine- to teach and empower women to be on their own.. if ur single accept n celebrate it.


I think if I wrote a book right now: it'd be called 'Single- the Way to go'. I have been saying this for a long time...... now and i do still feel this way. I'm open to it changing- but while it hasnt, for a while now....... I am getting very content with the idea of 'staying single'. Dating is too much of hassle- apparently..... for me anyway. I'm not against it for other ppl..... i just dont think its for everyone. Marriage n all that is very religion- faith based if you think about it....... if i could advocate for anything itd be...... 'why are ya'll so many of ya'll wanting to GET married!!!! ? ' thats what i ask/ wonder. Romance, i am coming to believe........ is just not in the cards for me. And while that used to freak me out- ive made a peace with it. It's hollywood that has u so freaked out (GIRLS now included). B/c everything/ the rom coms etc....... are relationship/ romance based.


Theres nothing out there that i know of that preaches 'Single....... Awesome!' Ya dont need 'em. Him/ her... it... whatever. Single is the way to go- they just wont tell you that. Please...... spare your sanity.... dont date.


I'm not saying soulmates dont exist or we dont crave romance.... but some of us... just dont get it. We dont get that sort of 'luxury' of life....... and i say luxury meaning privilege..... (its not for everyone)- and I'm coming to believe....... it's not for me either. I'm young saying this..... n in a way..... its very depressing writing this- but i feel the more i come to terms and grips with this fact/ notion- the less it will shock me, and the more i will be accustomed to this idea- and thus comfortable with it- and less resentful. I want to make a peace with it is my goal. Nothing has ever confused me more....... than those types of relationships (n i havent had many) ! ..... but anyhow. I digress a little- I guess a subconscious mission has sort of arisen in all this ..... n that is....... Women: Romance isnt for everyone. Men too. That goes for both. Its not..... its a privilege........ romantic rights........ they dont exist- we have no 'Right' to romance..... Its a privilege that only some get........ if theyre so lucky and fortunate. Others....... we must own dogs............. No i'm being silly- but i do mean it. We get love/ and are given love other ways. Its not necessarily in the romantic sense but others........ n thats fine- and that should be enough and if thats all you have and are given- Be grateful. Some ppl dont even have that.

I wouldnt say my standards for life have dropped........ theyve just become more realistic. And as sad and depressing as that may be..... its true. GuysAsFriends..... its fine. OtherthanThat makesYouCrayyyyyyy.

Jessa

I mainly only (also) watched Girls... for Jessa. I love her character- n she's the most realistic of all the show in my opinion. If we're looking at this show as 'documentary' (and i am). Girls is a super overrated show that i have no interest in other than.. (Jessa)- and some general curiosities. There are things i like about it- the silly quirky some of the characters.... n..... thats about it. I see it as a documentary though- i think its a more accurate portrayal of the modern day woman in some ways... in others i could vomit. Like the finale tonight. Anywho- thats my 2 sense as far as 'Girls' Goes.... a very overrated show of a very commonplace/ menial topic. I dont see it as groundbreaking at all.... i think it gets far too much credit- and to me- in no way is..... 'hilarious'. Its just a better depiction of what its like to be a female nowadays.... n thats it. At least in the city.

I really like Jessa, Marnie, and I dont have any particular affinity for any of the relationships/ the dynamics there of like Adam etc. None of them have grown on me or am i fond of. I write this b/c i see far too much credit being given to this mediocre of a show thats all. And i'm just here to sound off/ i had to react to all the 'praise.' To me- it's too much. PORTLANDIA RULES!!!!!!!! :)

Nope Pope (yet)

Are all the cardinals just being bad- milking this whole 'Popeless' period........ What is taking so long- are the cardinals just messing with us? White smoke sunder- Vaticanbebad