backstory:in a nutshell

so, i always wanted to play music. took piano lessons when i was about 7 or so, couldnt proceed as we couldnt afford a piano/keyboard to practice on. since then, ive done other various performing arts, mainly acting and ballet (on scholarship). but have always wanted to return to music. so i dont wanna come off as whiny, it's something i think has always been on the back burner, and now i'm feeling a need, compelled more than ever, to return to it. just been doin some other things in the meantime..(thats where my dictaphone came in).

i dont really know what i wanna say..i know that i am feeling very inspired, without being able to do anything about it (yet). like helen keller almost, handicapped..it's a helpless powerless feeling i cant explain. i am not writing out of self-pity (its not like i'm incapable), i am writing as a reminder to myself how this time feels, not being a musician-yet having so much music in me. (i have a dictaphone in the meantime to help combat this problem, get down the melodies and so forth)..its so strange..i was thinking this morning, my mom told me yesterday, we were driving, and she reminded me of something i told her when i was 14. it's funny b/c that same thing holds true today and i forgot i had told her that (acting related). it's just interesting seeing my past catch up to my present more and more.
ps. i accept this as a lifelong struggle until i GET LESSONS (or teach myself)
currently listening to: Lightfoot

.....

i actually want to learn the drums first, then the xylophone (then the harpsichord). but anything at this point is better than nothing.

my past catching up to my present

now more than ever i am feeling the effects of not being able to play an instrument. to not be able to sit down and pick up (in this case my guitar), and play is just torture. it's a beautiful friday afternoon and all i want do is play some music..and i cant. and i cant explain this agony. pure agony

i didnt think it would be like this, i didnt know that one day it would mean so much to be able to play. the liberation..but now that i do, i am either trying to teach myself or have someone b/c i cant go on like this. i literally cant. it is no longer enough to be able to just listen.

Why We Fight #1

Why We Fight #1

Happy Birthday Nephew Austin!

a song we always used to sing in the car..

also

i am very excited for the bjork/michel gondry news..(scientific musical)

'Joanna approach'

if i were a musician, i'd definitely take the joanna newsom approach and limit info. versus saturating it (of album's progression). i can really appreciate that and think more musicians should look to her in the way of news and sharing. i have no problem either way, but i guess the old-school in me can really appreciate and enjoy that. more surprise element

i can not stop listening to Little Joy.

i really like the country song 'ghost town train' by tim mcgraw

'Lights'

that is my current anthem (ellie goulding song)

Ring the Living Bell

OMG!!! CLASSIC!!!!!!

Video: Zach Galifianakis ‘SNL’ Opening Monologue

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oh and this is really random, but..

i feel like roisin murphy preceded lady gaga..i feel like lady gaga is doing basically everything she is, just getting all the credit. nothing against either, just an observation. i am digging 'momma's place':) but 'you know me better' is my all-time fav. roisin song.

It's a beautiful day!

i'm not gonna spend much time on here, just came on to say, i feel like i have an album's worth of songs to get out of me. (maybe two) ive felt this way for awhile, but lately just more strongly. i dont know if thats a word. i am ready to write my own words and need to do less listening and more writing. it's a discipline i struggle with constantly, an addiction really, but a conscious decision that needs to be made and (somehow) stick with. joanna newsom and ellie goulding just came out...this does not make it any easier..

ps.i do miss the snow..

YouTube du Jour: Theresa Andersson’s Pedals :: offBeat :: Louisiana and New Orleans Online Music Resource

YouTube du Jour: Theresa Andersson’s Pedals :: offBeat :: Louisiana and New Orleans Online Music Resource

Ellie Goulding's secret past | Life & Style

wow, she and i have really similar backgrounds..
Ellie Goulding's secret past | Life & Style

PS.

Hooray for 'Lights'! Ellie Goulding..it finally came out yesterday:) (uk)

I really like this song

i had seen this awhile ago and just forgot about it..hiLARIOUS...

Red Bull Energy Douche with Mandy Moore from Mandy Moore

currently listening to:kanye 808 stuff, welcome to heartbreak etc.